A quick note... I often ponder on a chapter subject for a weeks, and sometimes even longer, but once I start writing, I can complete it all in one shot and I hit save. Once I start typing it just flows out - but not this time. I've been wanting to talk about today’s topic for a while, which is good, but today is day 7, yes SEVEN, that I try and finish it. Seven days to write one darn chapter. Not plan, ponder, prepare, etc. That parts all done, I know what I need to say and what I want to say – it’s taken me a week just to pour it out on paper for you.
Because it's long? Not any more than usual, so don't panic. The reason is simple: This chapter, the point behind it, above EVERYTHING ELSE you read in this book will have the single greatest impact on your life.
Grasping and applying the concept I'm writing about will single-handedly transform your life, all areas of your life, and drive you to success, or failure, for that fact. Your acceptance of the lesson being taught is irrelevant as it works regardless of your participation. You can use it to lead you to success, or let it lead you to failure. The choice is yours.
So what's the problem? Well I wouldn't call it a problem, more of a challenge. I want it to be near perfect. I'll only get one shot at this, further talks on this topic will be read with slightly less enthusiasm than this initial time, and I believe this chapter has the power to impact you so much it's scary.
Take the time to read this chapter in full, and remember it applies to all areas of your life - and I invite you to challenge its core principle. Keep an open mind and resist the urge to become heated, emotional, angry, happy, or anything for that matter - the goal is to remain objective and be a student.
So without further ado, let's dive in.
First off, cut out the excuses. The other day on one of my social media accounts, someone wrote "I've tried EVERYTHING to lose weight and I just can't get the weight to come off".
What a silly statement. Everything? Really?
There's not a day that goes by that we're not bombarded with some new diet program, system or quick fix.
In fact, in case you are curious, at the time of this writing, there are 709 diets. You can view a complete list here: http://www.everydiet.org/diet
Surprised?
I highly doubt they've tried everything to lose weight. In fact, I highly doubt they've even tried cutting out junk food for longer than a week!
Tried everything...!
But don't worry, we're not here to talk about trying everything, nor do I think it’s a good strategy.
I want to show you how your strategy, although it could be one problem, is not the SOURCE of your problems. I don't really care what diet program you follow, assuming it’s healthy and works for you.
You pick ANY diet in this list and then find another dozen that say that the one you picked is all wrong and give you the exact opposite advice.
There is SO MUCH garbage out there and so many different ways to skin a cat (pardon the expression) that 99% of the time people get bogged down with the details, with the program, with this, with that, that they never leave the gate.
For example, I race motorcycles and when I line up to race motocross, if I start looking around and realizing, dang, his bikes a Yamaha, his is a Honda, his is a Suzuki, his is a Husky, etc. and then notice shoot he has this modification, that guy has a different add on, and his forks are different, and this and that and next thing you know the gate dropped, everyone took off and I never even started my bike.
That's basically the way I see it when I hear people debating diets. Everyone's so busy looking around at what the other guy's doing, what that other "expert" said, that they never get started.
This is paralysis by analysis.
So what the heck do you do? How do you know what's right? How do you know where to turn, what to do? In today’s day and age I know people that don't know a fruit from a vegetable and yet are giving out health advice.
With the internet everyone's an "expert". Everyone bashes one another, everyone copies the others, anyone can be anyone - and that can lead to a lot of unhappy experiences.
My philosophy when it comes to filtering through the mess has always been the same, BE A STUDENT, not a follower. Learn what you can and make your own decisions based on what feels right and what works for you.
Know your end-goal yet be flexible with your approach and adjust the strategy as you go, but not the goal. Don't let someone else guide your life!
Take your own life by the horns.
So, what does that mean? Are you supposed to go through every program and decide what's best for you?
As a popular YouTube video goes… “Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat!”
Obviously, with 700 + diets, and more being created each day, you aren't about to read every book on the planet to find out where to start! Want to know a shortcut?
Find someone who has achieved, or is currently achieving the results you're after and copy them.
This is called modeling the masters.
In every area of life, someone else has already walked the path that you’re about to wall. Someone’s been down that path before, and I can GUARANTEE you they have tips, ideas and philosophies that will drastically shorten your learning curb and get you to your goal much quicker.
But guess what? That’s not even what I am here to talk about either..!
I'm here to explain to you the REAL problem.
The problem with:
- gaining weight
- making/prepping meals
- planning snacks
- eating while on the road, away from home, dealing with 12 hour shifts
- binge eating
- eating clean while the rest of the family stuffs their face with McDonalds
- enjoying life
- living life with VITALITY and not average energy
- eating all the foods you want so bad that aren't good for you
- and anything else in life. Yep, this newsletters that good.
Yes, this chapter is that good.
Excited? You should be. This lesson is one that could change your life forever. Let's get started.
First off, I want to explain something.... this chapter, the "basis" of it, the lesson, applies to all areas of your life, NOT just nutrition or fitness.(But for the sake of this chapter I'll always be talking about nutrition.)
This chapter will explain the problem behind...
- financial problems
- personal problems
- relationships problems
- education problems
- parenting problems
The problem is not what you eat; the problem is right between your EARS.
Ouch.
So Al, you're saying...
- If I want to be a better parent, but I'm not, the problem is me?
- If I want to be more financially secure, but I'm not, the problem is me?
- If I want to have more time for myself, but I don't, the problem is me?
- If I want to be in a better relationship, but I'm not, the problem is me?
- If I want to ___________, the problem is me?
Yes. And with accepting that comes great power.
Don't put the book down just yet...hear me out... open mind, remember?
Your PHILOSOPHY about any given subject will determine your outcome.
It's your philosophy about money that will determine your actions and decisions - and the result.
It's your philosophy about parenting that will determine your actions and decisions - and the result.
It's your philosophy about education that will determine your actions and decisions - and the result.
It's your philosophy about nutrition that will determine your actions and decisions - and the result.
It's your philosophy about any given subject that will determine your actions and decisions and subsequent result.
Listen, you are NOT a TREE. You are not stuck where you are. YOU have the remote control of your life. YOU control your destiny. And the sooner you realize this, the sooner you can get on with sculpting YOUR ULTIMATE LIFE.
The longer you blame anything else or believe the story you've been telling yourself, the longer you remain completely OUT OF CONTROL of your own life - and I believe that's what messes with the mind most.
Imagine you're at a friend’s house about to watch a movie. You really want to see that new hi-speed action movie. In fact, it's your dream to see that movie; you've waited all your life to see it.
You sit down with a bowl of popcorn and get psyched for the movie. Your friend turns the TV on, and instead of your dream movie he throws on a TV show you absolutely loathe.
Now instead of doing something about it, you sit there and watch it. Episode after episode, getting more and more annoyed, irritated, stressed, until finally, life has passed you by, you're nearing the end, and you never got to watch the your dream action movie.
Wouldn't it have been nice if someone just came along and changed the movie for you. Or took the burger out of your mouth. Or went for a jog for you. Or. Or. Or.
Now sure that's an over-dramatization, but that's exactly how some people live their lives. They let others call the shots, never stepping up and taking charge of their lives.
You can blame everything in the world for where you are, but if you never get up and change the channel of your own life, the finger only needs to be pointed at you.
It's your philosophy about life that will greatly determine how you live it.
Person A lives life pointing fingers waiting for someone to come along and help them, while person B takes charge, grabs life by the horns, and makes shit happen.
The only difference between Person A and Person B is their philosophy on how life is.
I want to remind you...I'm not here to give you heck about anything. I believe that this book can significantly change the way you look at nutrition, and more importantly your life and deliver lasting results.
In fact, my father and I were discussing this book the other day and we both were brainstorming a way to get the message across WITHOUT feeling like we are giving you a hard time - because we're not.
I'm here to be that TRUE friend that will tell it like it is, tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. I won't be the guy who pats you on the back and says “it's okay”, “it's not that bad” or “it's not your fault”.
That's crap and you know it, and that's not me!
I will, however, tell it to you straight even if it hurts your feelings if it's what’s best for you.
Your philosophy on nutrition is the determining factor on whether you will or will not reach your health goal - and if it's sustainable.
Like nearly everything in life, it's 20% strategy, 80% psychology.
I was just chatting with someone the other day and they were complaining that they couldn't afford our programs and had to quit and has since put on the weight he had lost, AND THEN SOME (A lot more, in fact).
Let me tell you the same thing I told them... It's not the money or not working out that is the problem. It's his psychology; it's how he views health. I don't care if you're flat broke, you can get in incredible shape with ZERO equipment. If your health was number 1, if you valued your body the way you should, you'd find a way to stay fit and healthy NO MATTER WHAT. Ever hear about the homeless bodybuilder? True story, search for his story on YouTube.
Blaming money is cowardly, it's hiding, and it’s making excuses. Over the past 12 years we've given countless special arrangements when someone comes to us saying they wish they could continue but “this and that” and this unforeseen issue is tying up all their money, so we agree to let them come for free until they are back on their feet. And guess what? They never continue. Never. EVER!
Why you ask? Because money wasn't the problem.
It's just the easiest thing to point at. Sure, there's the 1% that can’t afford it, the exception to every rule, but the odds of that 1% being you is incredibly low.
(Side note, you can blame not having money, or you can go out and make more money and take charge of your financial situation - same philosophy applies).
Just so we don't forget this isn't just about nutrition...
Your philosophy about any given subject will significantly affect the end result.
When it comes to YOU, only YOU can fix YOU.
Yes, there are some really good things to blame, in fact we've ALL used some. I know I've blamed all kinds of stuff for my lack of results in different areas of my life. Want to know what I discovered?
If the problem is something or someone else, I can't fix it - and that SUCKS. But, as soon as I realized the problem was me, see now that's something I CAN do something about, it’s something I CAN fix.
I like how Jim Rohn says "The problem isn't that it's too expensive, it's that you can't afford it."
If it's too expensive, you can't change that. If it's because you can't afford it, see that you control. I want to buy a Maserati. I highly doubt no matter how much I whine and complain they are going to lower their price.
BUT, I can take control of my own life and learn the necessary skills to earn enough to buy one.
See I have things on my goal list that I can't afford, but I don't waste a second of my day praying for the price to drop. I do spend hours working on my skills so that I can one day afford them.
I have to admit it's hard to stay focused on health here because this pertains to every area of your life.
How you view diet, health, fitness and nutrition will be the ONLY determining factor for your success. Want to know what the biggest difference between John Fitzpatrick, a client of ours, who's absolutely CRUSHING IT, and those who can't seem to drop any weight? He's not on a diet. He's not on something he plans to end, a short term meal plan or quick fix. John changed the way he thinks and looks at food. He changed his philosophy about nutrition and that's a REAL life transformation.
(Side Note: He’s lost 110 pounds in 28 weeks, read about his story at www.familykickboxing.net/meetjohn.html)
Listen, if every time I make a health suggestion you think to yourself "Hell no, there ain't no way I'm cutting my super-duper sodas out" then I'm sorry, to be honest I have little hope for you.
Is it because soda’s bad? No, not at all. I mean, yes it is bad for you, but not enough for me to lose hope. What causes me to lose hope with saying things like "I can't cut that out" is what it does to your psyche. It's what it tells me about your philosophy about health.
Let's compare:
Let's say one person says "I’m not cutting out cheese", and the other says "For my body, I'm willing to try anything, even if that means cutting out cheese", see the problem there is found in the mind. That's simply two different attitudes, two different philosophies.
It's not the cheese that's bad - it's the way of thinking that is problematic.
One says I'm willing to care for my body as long as it doesn't affect my instantaneous pleasure, while another says I'm willing to care for my body and do whatever it takes to treat it like the temple it is and not an hourly rate hotel.
Let me give you a little tip...
Your life is 100% yours.
Yes, you may have mentors, teachers, a spouse, kids, other family, friends, coaches, etc. that help you, guide you, push you, tie you down, hold you back or anything else positive or negative. But, at the end of the day, when you lay down and close your eyes, it's JUST YOU.
If you ate fast food because someone else offered it to you, you can blame them all you want but at the end of the day that’s in your body, you made the call to put it in YOUR body and you stand alone.
You may have to cook for a family of 5 and everyone wants junk food and you don't feel like prepping your own meal, and that's fine, but at the end of the day, it's still you, and it’s still your body.
You may have candy, treats and desserts laying around the office or home all day long, but at the end of the day it's still YOU who decides to eat them or not.
I think you get the point.
Nearly ALL of life's challenges are MENTAL. Our physical bodies are powerful beyond measure; it's our mental game that is often weak.
Don't believe me?
What's your biggest challenge when it comes to eating clean and cutting out the junk food?
Really think about it...be honest with yourself.
Let's say it's binge eating... you do great all day long, and then here comes 7pm and you eat everything in sight.
Is your problem that you physically can no longer control your arm, that it acts beyond and outside of your control, it opens the fridge and shoves garbage down your throat? Or maybe someone ties you down and force feeds you chocolate cake?
.
Or is it a mental challenge?
And hey, if someone is tying you down and force feeding you chocolate cake, enjoy it!
I know this chapter is getting long...but I want to drive the point home... YOU and YOU alone are responsible for you.
You are POWERFUL BEYOND MEASURE - but you can't access that power until you take charge of your own actions. For as long as it's someone or something elses fault, you are powerless. Listen a car is one heck of a powerful machine but until you hit the gas and tell it what to do, it’s useless and will sit and rust until its final day when it won’t run any longer.
The funny thing is that if you look at any meal plan and think to yourself too bad, I'm eating whatever I want! It really has NO impact on the meal plan…
BUT, the impact on YOU is great. In fact, you alone bear all the consequences of your own actions. And, unfortunately, when we have children they bear it as well.
I want to challenge you, just for 14 days, two short weeks, to look at your life from a different angle. To look at life from the perspective of "I am solely in charge of my life" and see what happens. If it sucks and you don't like it, great, go back to your own ways but feel proud you gave it a fair shot. Trust me, there are many who would complain about this idea without ever trying it. That's like someone saying they can't stand the taste of bananas without ever trying a banana - it's foolish and that person shouldn’t be trusted.
In the past, I’d catch myself blaming all kinds of stuff. I had excuses for just about everything. In fact, I still have some I'm working on. Life is a journey and I am a student, always learning, always competing against myself to be the best version of ME possible.
I'm telling you, when your philosophy switches from "Life happens TO ME" to "I make LIFE HAPPEN", everything changes.
I'm blessed with three beautiful kids and I never take my parenting for granted. I never assumed I knew how to parent and I picked up dozens of books on how to parent and am lucky enough to have a wife who's the same way. I personally think she's the best mother in the world. She takes care of 3 kids, basically on her own (I just try and keep them alive!), she home schools, she does the house work, cooks the meals and works out. She's amazing. Even with all of that, she still stays up until almost midnight every night reading. The other day she even took part in a webinar on different types of parenting styles and strategies. I think she’s the best mom in the world, but she’s always learning and always growing. That drive comes from understanding that YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR OWN LIFE.
When I started riding dirt bikes, I didn't assume that once I got on and was able to ride that that was all there was to learn. I bought books, magazines, and watched videos. In fact even after having won a 1st place trophy in a 6 hour cross country race, my father and I still took part in a weekend long riding seminar to learn and improve our skills.
Be a student of life.
Understand that YOU ARE IN CHARGE, and that means that YOU HAVE THE POWER. You have the remote. You choose the movie.
You are the reaper and the sower of your own life.
You are the accumulation of your own decisions and actions to this day.
You are in the drivers seat.
Lead your life to where you want it to go, and if you don't like where it is, or where it's heading don't beat yourself up! Feel powerful knowing you can change your course at any point.
And never stop believing in yourself. Step up and take charge.
You. Can. Do. It.
Al